One of the things that I have learned over the years is that I have let things from my past hold me back. I have hoped and prayed for the anguish of painful memories to just go away. However, that just is not how life works. When something hurtful happens to someone the memory will always be there. Pain from emotional trauma is like a scar on our skin, it can last for life. What I have learned throughout the years is that I just needed to deal with the pain and turn it into something positive.
Being able to find something positive in a memory of childhood abuse may not seem possible to some people. But in life everything has its opposite. Where there is up there is down. Where there is in there is out. Where there is black there is white. Therefore, where there is bad there is good. I will admit that finding something good in the pain of a child is difficult. This may not be possible until many years later. It is entirely up to the individual and the treatment that is sought out.
There is one thing that is a must in the healing process that I have found. In order for a person to move forward from emotional pain forgiveness is needed. Hate is a negative emotion. Hate only breeds rage and feelings of inadequacy. If a person cannot forgive someone then the victim is still under the power of the abuser. Emotional trauma may come from other sources than abuse. One example would be parents using a child to get what they want in divorce or custody proceedings. Even though this can do more damage to the child than it can either adult, the adults still need to forgive each other to fully move on.
In the last example I would actually question the mental stability of any parent that would place a child in the middle of a dispute between adults. Doing so can have lasting emotional scars upon the child. No matter what one parent feels towards the other speaking badly about each other to children only adds to an already difficult situation.
Without forgiveness hope diminishes. Without hope happiness is sacrificed. Is it truly worth jeopardizing happiness for a person who has harmed you? Forgiving others can be extremely difficult. However, forgiving ourselves may be even harder.
Keep an eye on the sky.
The Prozac Pilot